Monday, February 25, 2013

Monday Morning at the Chookhouse — a 12-Step Programme

  1. Begin well: nimbly avoid liquid poop when clambering into hen boudoir.
  2. Wearing gloves, pick up slightly more solid matter in boudoir; place in poop bucket.
  3. Misjudge while backing out, thereby skinning shin on ledge, tripping on ramp and folding legs in various directions.
  4. Land in unseemly heap on ground, mercifully still free of poop.
  5. Collect Pink Pills for Pale Poultry from ground, where they also landed, and inspect for poop.
  6. Catch Henemoa, pills’ intended recipient, without much kerfluffle.
  7. Congratulate self on this achievement.
  8. Dose chicken and, when she spits pills out, redose.
  9. Suffer splattering of fresh liquid manure on shirt, trousers and gumboot.* Release chicken.
  10. Exit premises, swearing softly and attempting to prevent soiled fabric from contacting skin.
  11. In laundry, shed clothes and begin filling bucket with warm water.
  12. Drop open Napisan container in bucket so it, too, partly fills with water...
Henemoa, not at all pale,
and looking as if butter
wouldn’t melt.

* Yes, it is possible to hold a chook in such a way that soiling of clothing does not occur. But after my unfortunate exit from the hen boudoir I was not in possession of all my faculties.


  1. But you love those girls . . .

  2. sound like one of those days it would have been better to stay in bed...

    1. My body got up but my spirit preferred to remain lying down.

  3. Some days are diamonds, huh? And others, not so much. The problem is really that all that happened first thing. Later in the day who cares if they have hen poop on their clothes? A stiff drink will sort that one out.

    1. You're quite right, Lillyanne. I'm tempted to suggest that a stiff drink might sort out such a problem first thing in the morning too, but fortunately I didn't go down that track. Instead I had a shower: worked wonders.